One time I was watching this porn video because someone told me this girl was good at blowjobs and I was trying to learn how to give one since I’ve never done it before. And so she was giving him like a good ass blow job in this video and I was so into it. Like I got kinda horny too and I never really get horny watching blow jobs. So I was like bruhhhh she on point! And they were two white porn stars and I was happy that there was no music and shit.
Then next thing I know he was like, “You’re a dirty little slut, huh? Just a nasty bitch.” And I was like… Wait, whuttt? What is happening? How did this escalate so quickly??? And he was like, “Show me how dirty you are. Show me how filthy you can be.” And so I was getting nervous like all of my arousal dwindled after this shit. I was like NO WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN??? Like I’m watching a horror movie and shit. And she opened her mouth and I thought oh woooow this nigga bout to cum already? IT’S ONLY BEEN LIKE 5 MINUTES WTF HE WEAK.
But no. He looks her dead in the eye and he starts peeing. He fucking peed in her mouth like a shit load of pee I was like
OH MY FUCKING GOD ABORT. FUCKING ABORT. And she was moaning and licking her lips like he was pouring some good ass southern lemonade in her mouth and I was just not ready and I could not deal. And then my phone was being jank and wouldn’t close it out and I was just crying. I was like NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. And so when I finally got it off I just sat there in my bed contemplating life.
Then I saw the nigga that told me to watch the video and I never looked at him the same again.
This was fucking HILARIOUS!! 😂😭😂
Skull, found in France, with a knife still embedded it it. The skull belonged to a Roman solider who died during the Gallic Wars, ca. 52BC. It was on display at the Museo Rocsen in Argentina.
Whenever I see things like this, I wonder how they died. I guess it will always be a mystery.
I’m gonna go with “Stabbed through the head”
Summer Glau rehearsing for Serenity
I really love that she fights like a dancer.
The pirouette prep in the second gif tho
I could watch this all day.
She was the best part of the flick
BREAKING: Seattle becomes the first city to raise its minimum wage to $15/hour. SHARE if Congress should take Seattle’s lead!
the current minimum wage (at least in NY) is $8.00 and less than a year ago it was $7.25, so yes.
Nope nope and nope. Make better decisions and life and you won’t be working a minimum wage job.
^ That’s literally the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever read in my life. Are you the kind of person that goes up to homeless people and tells them to get a job? Good fuuuuuuuuuuuucking lord. If everyone was able to get a “better” job, there would be absolutely no-one populating the mass expanse of the workforce. Are you unable to see how this suggestion is completely and utterly illogical? And extremely rude?
Thank god people in Seattle have good heads on their shoulders so single mothers working 3 minimum wage jobs to feed their children can finally be treated like actual live human beings with needs and not capitalistic automatons.
"Just get a better job" is the most white bread privilege shit I’ve ever heard.
I don’t even think it’s white privilege. I think it’s just near-bottomless dumbfuckery.
"Get a better job," they said.
Suddenly, every custodian everywhere quits their job and gets a better one. Now, upon entering public restrooms, everyone is handed a spray bottle and toilet brush, because now they have to scrub their own shit out of that public porcelain throne. Women’s restrooms come complete with plastic bags, because they have to bring their soiled period products home with them and dispose of them at home, because there is no more public waste removal.
"Get a better job," they said.
All fast food employees quit and find a “better job”. No more fast food places! There also aren’t any restaurants. Better learn to cook your own shitty garbage burgers. You have only yourself to yell at if you forget the cheese.
"Get a better job," they said.
Retail stores no longer have any employees. All shopping must be done online, but you have to drive out and pick up the supplies yourself because the Fedex people quit and got better jobs, too.
"Just get a better job," they said!
You now have to grow and make every single thing you ever consume for the rest of your life, because no one wants to do it for you at $7 an hour.
^ THE LAST COMMENT THOUGH FUCKIN AMEN
IM GOING TO STAB MYSELF IN THE FOOT I JUST SENT MY ENGLISH TEACHER MY ESSAY ON HAMLET AND IT WAS STILL NAMED “the fresh prince of denmark yo holla”
oh man, i love receiving unedited final drafts:
cracks me up every time
that’s it. that’s the whole show
There aren’t many things Dean Winchester is afraid of but Missouri Moseley is definitely one of them and I love it
Well now I can correctly moonwalk away from uncomfortable situations
Because everyone deserves to know how to do a mean moonwalk.
guYS THIS IS IMPORTANT
its not important
have you ever had a bad experience with porn?
Portuguese designer Susana Soares has developed a device for detecting cancer and other serious diseases using trained bees. The bees are placed in a glass chamber into which the patient exhales; the bees fly into a smaller secondary chamber if they detect cancer.
Scientists have found that honey bees - Apis mellifera - have an extraordinary sense of smell that is more acute than that of a sniffer dog and can detect airborne molecules in the parts-per-trillion range.
Bees can be trained to detect specific chemical odours, including the biomarkers associated with diseases such as tuberculosis, lung, skin and pancreatic cancer.
breathe into the ＢＥＥ ＯＲＢ to reveal your fate
wow! this is fascinating
i dont think goosebumps books ever came into print i think they just mystically appeared in public school libraries one day already in mediocre condition
this sounds like a plot for a goosebumps book about goosebumps books
When your mom asks you if you have a boyfriend and the girl you fucked is standing right next to you
Architects CMA and SeARCH were focusing on the question if it would be possible to conceal a house in an Alpine slope while still exploiting the wonderful views and allowing light to enter the building when planing the Villa Vals. They decided to build a central patio into the steep incline to create a large facade with considerable potential for window openings. The viewing angle from the building is slightly inclined, giving a dramatic view of the beautiful mountains on the opposite side of the narrow valley.
All images © Iwan Baan
"I heart my car" she says as she pumps its hole full of love fluid, but their half-hearted smiles betray the truth. They’re just going through the motions, each silently wondering which will be the first to admit that the spark is gone.
white vs latino moms waking up their kids